it's easy to get motivated, and it's easy to lose it too.. maybe i wouldn't mind just going thru the normal ocs and becoming a normal officer, opting to go back to tekong to be a platoon commander, at least i can say "fucking hell. knock it down!" hahah! i think it is damn cool when said in style.. =X

so much to study, so many things to memorize. can i really manage it? do i really have that much capacity in my head? i'm lacking a bit of confidence at this moment. grr. it sucks to feel like this! i need to study!